Mar 19, 2008

Politically Correct Encounters

I was at the grocery store today grabbing a few items and noticed a bunch of cowboys complete with their black dusters, cowboy hats and boots. Once again, it is rodeo season in Pocatello. Cowboys come from far and wide to participate every March. It got me wondering what the politically correct term for cowboy is. I looked it up. Sure enough--there really is a term: Bovine Control Officers.

Here are a few more I thought were interesting:

A Criminal - unsavory character
Bald - follicularly challenged.
Body Odor - nondiscretionary fragrance.
Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled
Cannibalism - Intra-Species Dining
Corpse - Permanently Static Post-Human Mass
Dirty Old Man - sexually focused chronologically gifted individual
Earthquake - geological correction
Fail - achieve a deficiency.Fat - People of Mass
Fat - person of substance
Full of Crap - fecally plenary
Homeless - residentially flexible
Homelessness - Mortgage-Free Living
Ignorant - factually unencumberedInsane People - Mental Explorers
Insult - Emotional Rape
Lazy - motivationally deficient.
Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability
Loser - Second Place
Loser - uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path
Messy - differently organized
Panhandler - Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding.
Poor - economically marginalized
Prisoner - client of the correctional system
Prostitute - sex care provider
Redneck - rustically inclined
Refugees - asylum seekers
Serial-Killer - Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Shoplifter - Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist
Ugly - aesthetically challenged
Unemployed - Involuntarily leisured.
Vagrant - Nonspecifically destinationed individual
Vomiting - Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices

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