Living with three boys and a husband who all think differently makes you realize you are the odd one out.  Sometimes I get so frustrated that I envision myself banging my head against the wall or tearing my hair out.  As soon as that thought occupies my mind, I realize that yes, I have officially become one of them.  Imagine how the person living with Autism feels as they try to navigate the unpredictable world around them.
  That is enough for now.  I get all wrapped up in the complexities of Autism sometimes just trying to understand.  Me--the supposed neurotypical.  I get so tired of living among Autism, breathing Autism, talking about Autism, battling Autism and it's nuances that it is so much easier to just join in. Ok.  Let's all be geeks together.  Let's all talk in made up languages at the dinner table.  Lets all discuss how if J.R.R. Tolkien were still alive he should run for president.  Let's rewind old episodes of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and watch them over and over.  Lets review the facts of each of the 50 United States and see who can remember which state has the population of 4,324,587.  


It is really hard to find the balance on a daily basis.  You either fight it, or you give in.  It has been six years now with the hardest yet to come. Well, enough of that.  Back to determining if the Mayan calendar really does end in December, thus the end of the world is at hand.  We'll see. 


Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.  ;)

This is My Autism, by Jess (Diary of a Mom)

Click here to read Light the White House Blue for Autism.  


On the evenings of April 1 and 2, 2011, prominent buildings across North America and the world — including the Empire State Building in New York City and the CN Tower in Toronto, Canada — will turn their lights blue to raise awareness for autism and to commemorate World Autism Awareness Day on Saturday, April 2.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF HE'S HAVING A SEIZURE?

I went to wake Ryder up to get ready for church this morning but his eyes kept fluttering open and then rolling back up into his head. He couldn't stay awake. I realized this was a seizure so I thought I'd get the camera and document it. We've been to at least three different pediatric neurologists-and either neurologists themselves are a little on the kooky side or we just haven't found one we really like yet.


Poor Ryder. He is not responsive and he slept until 1:30pm. We woke him to give him his medication and a drink of water and to just check on him. I've never had a neurologist or doctor tell me what to do when these seizures occur. All I know is that they are complex partial seizures or "absent" seizures and they are difficult to detect. See for yourself.

MY FRIEND WITH AUTISM -written by Beverly Bishop

In this kid-friendly picture book, a young narrator explains how his friend with autism is different from other kids, while also pointing out his many strengths. This is a great book for teachers, families, therapists, or parents whose children know a child with autism.  I loved how each page explains a challenge that a child with autism has and what a "typical" child must do to help him out.  In the back of the book are notes for adults as well to help them understand what a child with autism may be experiencing through change, the senses, pretend play, quiet time, etc.  There is also a list of ten helpful strategies for helping an autistic child that would come in handy for anyone.

The author, Beverly Bishop wrote My Friend with Autism for the teachers and students in her son's elementary school class to help him fit in with his peers and to foster tolerance and understanding among her son's friends and classmates.  She is a teacher and her husband is the illustrator and an art teacher in public school for 30 years.

Over 20,000 copies of the first edition have been sold. This can also be a coloring book, too.  I highly recommend this book!   To order click here.

...Da Da Da!... (my Reading Rainbow sound...:) )

THE SIMPLE JOYS

Ryder received this soft sheep's wool from a friend and he absolutely loved it! 

Tips and Ideas for Our Children with Autism

Below are some great ideas for Valentine's Day and other holiday gift giving ideas.  It is always a stressor in our house-trying to find a gift that is just the right fit, that fits the budget, too.  Enjoy!

Finding just the right birthday, holiday, or congrats gift for anyone can be a challenge! If you have a child with an autism spectrum disorder on your list, the task may seem overwhelming. We’re here to help with a few general tips on how-to choose gifts, and the other selections in this publication can jump start your creative juices. But… just in case you find yourself needing more inspiration, we’ve assembled some of our favorite products from Internet sources.

Gift Giving Tips

·         Target special interests. The key to finding a great gift is to target the child’s special interests. Kids on the spectrum tend to have little-or-no-desire for gifts outside their area of interest, making other well-intentioned gifts a source of anxiety. Remember that holidays and special occasions are difficult for children with autism because they’re filled with surprises and bring changes to the normal routine. This is not the time to experiment with gifts intended to expand their horizon of interest.

·         Think Outside the Norm. Chronological age is not a good gift-giving indicator for our kids on the spectrum. Neither is “what all the kids want.” Our kids follow their own unique developmental progress. They may not have the ability to use, or be interested in, “age-appropriate” items. On the flip-side, if it fits their interest, they may thrive with gifts that are beyond what seems appropriate for their age.

·         Honor Suggestions. Do not ignore gift suggestions from parents just because you think they’re redundant. It doesn’t matter if you believe the child already has too many of a particular item. When it comes to a special interest, there’s never “too much,” and sometimes parents (and kids!) like to have the same item readily available in multiple rooms.

·         Fun versus Functional. While there are lots of “therapy” type products that could also make great gifts for the spectrum child, including music and other creative type CDs or DVDs, our emphasis here is on fun, rather than “work.” Some of our suggestions have embedded learning – all the better because kids experience the joy of learning without it becoming drudgery. That said, for some kids, the “functional” gifts are the most welcomed, so check with a child’s parent if you’re not sure about the child’s personality and favorite type of gifts.

·         Books. Spectrum kids relate to books on such an individual basis that we purposely did not include this type of gift on our list. The sheer number of good offerings is the second reason! If you like the idea of giving a book – and many adults do - check with the child’s parents about interests and suggestions. Many literal minded spectrum kids will not appreciate reading about animals who talk or wear clothes (they don’t really do that, after all…), and some who thrive on details and lists would be absolutely enthralled with one of those mega-compendium trivia books on a specific subject, or an educational textbook on, say, electricity or the solar system. Our kids are unique!

Valentine Gift Ideas to Get You Started

Danceland CD

http://store.fhautism.com/p-280-danceland-cd-fun-songs-and-activities-to-improve-sensory-skills.aspx

Delightful music gets your kids movin’ and groovin’. This CD was designed by professional therapists and comes with a “travel guide” that provides movement suggestions to improve sensory skills and ideas for creatively adapting the music for games or theatrical performances.

28 Instant Songames CD

http://store.fhautism.com/p-277-28-instant-songames-cd.aspx

Delivering fun musical activities to address sensory issues for kids ages 3-8, these “songames” are creatively divided into animal realms to help develop body awareness, non-stress movement, feeling identification and self-expression.

Totally Kids for Furniture and Toys

http://thebeanbagstore.com/

You’ll find some truly unique items in this online store – not just toys – but also amazing furniture, such as “Retro Diner” furnishings and a unique selection of children’s beds. Different types of beds include stairway, bunk and loft beds and their styles range from traditional to themes like Sleeping Beauty, Lancelot and Secret Clubhouse. Totally Kids has books, toys and costumes for travel, education and just plain fun. Here are five of our favorites from their toy section:

BlastPad

http://thebeanbagstore.com/totallyblastpad.htm

Combines the fun of blasting foam missiles (adjustable for indoors or outside) with the physical activity of jumping and stomping on the launch pad.

Eco-Playdough

http://thebeanbagstore.com/totallyeco-dough.htm

An alternative, nontoxic, all-natural play dough in colors made from plant, fruit and vegetable extracts.

Dado Cubes

http://thebeanbagstore.com/onlinedadocubes.htm

A new twist on classic building blocks – these cubes interlock to create 3-dimensional structures. Made of heavy gauge plastic, the cubes come in different sizes and colors that encourage visual spatial play.

Rush Hour Traffic Jam Game

http://thebeanbagstore.com/totallyrushhour.htm

Commuting parents may need to be open-minded to fully appreciate this game but your kids will love it. Rush Hour Traffic Jam game teaches sequential movement and problem solving in a game where kids set-up the board according to pictures and then slide cars and trucks around to create a path that escapes traffic congestion. Voted one of the “Top 25 Toys of the Past 25 Years” by Parent’s Choice Magazine.

Monster Bowling

http://thebeanbagstore.com/totallymonsterbowling.htm

The image says it all! Who wouldn’t have fun with six textured monster pins and a beastly ball? They come in a zippered carrying case for bowling fun anywhere, any time. Great for team skill building, gross motor coordination, and turn taking.

Build-a-Robot Game

http://www.chinaberry.com/prod.cfm/pgc/11900/sbc/11906/inv/16582/tid/810092700       

Large, colorful playing pieces are used to build a robot in a fun game that also encourages creativity and imagination.

Thomas’ Great Race Game

http://autismshop.com/store/product.php?productid=25737&cat=254&page=3

Another game that combines fun with learning…and it’s perfect for kids who love Thomas the Tank! Learn numbers, counting, sorting and color matching skills as you earn coal to shovel into your engine to power it across the finish line.

Interactive and Plush Dinosaur Characters

http://www.learningcurve.com/dinosaurtrain?icid=ddmenu&locale=en_US

These fabulous dinosaurs are based on the PBS Kids show Dinosaur Train, but they’re perfect for any dinosaur lover. Featuring Smart Talk Technology, the dinosaurs talk and interact with one another.

Little Dragon Karate

http://toysforautism.com/lil-dragon-karate.html

Kids learn karate with large training cards and a PVC mat that provide visual reinforcement. This set comes with a detailed instruction booklet as well as various memory and timed games.

iPad and iPhone       

With practical and helpful applications for children with autism, the iPad and iPhone make great gifts that are educational, remedial, and enjoyable. Begin with these web sites to learn more about what’s available and how these products may help your child:

AutismHangout

http://www.autismhangout.com/video/default.asp?m=d&catID=0&id=396

Three videos to watch at the Autism Hangout: “The iPad and Autism: One Family’s Story of Success,” “Announcing Apps for Autism,” and “Apps for Special Needs.”

iPad Information

http://www.apple.com/ipad/

iPhone Apps Store

http://www.apple.com/iphone/apps-for-iphone/#heroOverview

Imagine-a-Box

http://www.imaginabox.com/home/products.php?product_catid=6

Choose one item from three categories (toy, accessory and DVD/CD/video game), they put them in a green, red, yellow or blue box, and send them off to the lucky recipient. While you can build your own box, they also have two ready-to-go boxes specifically for children with autism.

Twist ‘n Write Pencils

http://penagain.com/

For those who struggle with handwriting, Pacific Writing Instruments offers an ergonomically designed Y-shaped pencil that helps fine motor coordination by promoting comfort and extra control. The same design is available in adult-sized pens called Ergo-Sof Pens. Great for stocking stuffers!

 

Octopals

http://toysforautism.com/octopals.html

Perfect for bath time fun! Floating mother octopus is a water sieve. Her 8 babies are squirting toys with suction cups. Cute, colorful, and fun for children 18 months+.

  

All About Learning              

http://michiganlearning.com/default.php

Looking for a gift that motivates and turns strengths into valuable skills? All About Learning, Inc. offers two exceptional online courses for budding engineers and video game designers:

Elementary Engineering™

http://michiganlearning.com/classes.php?class=18&

Integrating engineering theory with their unique LEGO® kit (containing more than 1,000 pieces), your child enjoys building machines while learning about gears, motion, simple machines and problem solving.

Video Game Maker™

http://michiganlearning.com/classes.php?class=2&

Learn how to design and modify arcade style video games, including how to control characters, objects and outcomes, and increase difficulty level. For ages 10 and older, visit the site to be sure your computer meets the minimum requirements.

Weighted Blankets and Clothes                  

Some people on the spectrum crave the calming and stress-reducing hug of a weighted product, such as a bed or lap blanket, a neck wrap, vest or t-shirt. Here are a few sources. Important Note: be sure to check with the child’s parent before purchasing a weighted product, as the product’s weight needs to be matched to the child’s size and need for pressure.

Cozy Calm products are so soft and handmade to your desired size and color. Neck calmers, lap cozys and matching stuffed animals are also available.

http://www.cozycalm.com/                

Prince’s Sensory Delights are fashionable, sensory-smart clothes, many of which incorporate weights without looking like weighted clothing.

http://www.princessensorydelights.com/

In Your Pocket weighted vest designs by Abilitations offer sturdy fabric and well-constructed vests that are fun and comfortable. Designed by a mom taking into consideration how young kids play and live.

http://www.weightedvest.com/

Sensory Critters weighted products include blankets, lap pads, vests, hoodies, neck wraps, and weighted animals.

http://www.sensorycraver.com/weighted-products-c-55.html

EZSox            

http://www.ezsox.com/

For all of our kids learning to dress, these training socks are fun and put your child on the road to succes, with whimsical animal faces that provide visual clues about which side is up and sturdy, built-in handles that make them easy to pull-up. This adorable video of kids using EZSox tells the story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVrqfzLgYu8

Table Top Theater

http://toysforautism.com/exclusive-expressions-table-top-theater.html

For kids who love puppets, this beautiful table top theater will encourage them to perform plays they've created while learning to express feelings through the puppets. For kids who absolutely love dramatic expression, there’s a standing-size theatre also available.

 

Create Your Own Monster Puppet Package

http://toysforautism.com/create-your-own-monster-puppet-package.html

What’s a play without the puppets? Create hundreds of crazy creatures with this fuzzy friend and its interchangeable parts that include weird and wacky eyes, ears, antennae and more. Carrying case included for quick clean-up!

Glide Bikes

https://glidebikes.com/

Learning to ride a bicycle is safe and fun when those all important first steps -- learning to balance and steer -- can be accomplished with a glide bike. These "balance bikes" do not have pedals, a chain or training wheels. Instead, they're built small enough so children can "walk" the bike while sitting. Their feet touch the ground and can be used to balance and push the bike forward, until they're comfortable enough to let the bike glide while they balance with feet resting on foot pegs. These bikes won approval from professionals at the Easter Seals/UCP Preschool in Wilmington, NC. They recommend the bike as a therapeutic tool for strengthening, endurance and balance...not to mention the boost to kid's confidence!

 

Toys“R”Us® Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids

http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=3261680

If you need more ideas, tips or inspiration, this year’s annual Toys“R”Us® guide has 60 pages of toy recommendations for children with disabilities.

This article is taken with permission from www.autismdigest.com, where readers can go online and, by signing in, can access free copies of the magazine’s eGuide, which is packed full of more information on holidays and gift giving for children on the spectrum.

Article was amended to fit the present season of Valentine’s Day.

My Montage 1/7/11 at OneTrueMedia.com

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

THE TEA SET

Twenty seven years had past since that 6th grade white-elephant gift exchange party.  I was a shy, chubby girl with glasses.  It was my turn.  I opened my gift, revealing a miniature porcelain tea set.  There was a collective gasp from the whole class.  Most gifts were crayons and coloring books, card games and stickers-but this, this was different.  Everyone wanted that beautiful tea set.

 As we played the white-elephant game, the delicate tea set was passed around from the most assertive student in the class who wanted it for his kid sister, to the absent-minded student who pretended not to care. 

One voice commanded attention.  I cannot remember who started it, but someone said, "Hey, give it back to Stephanie.  She picked it, don't take it away from her. "  Eventually others chimed in, following the leader.  "Hey, give it back!"

 I secretly thought the tea set was the best gift ever, but being labeled the shy girl in school, I felt like I lived up to that potential, and did not protest as we continued the game.  When the fragile tea set became mine again, I secretly hoped it would not be taken from my hands.  I watched the clock.  School was almost out, when the tea set would be mine indefinitely. 

I kept that tea set for many years and had tea parties with my sisters with hot cocoa we would sneak from the kitchen.  Eventually, as life continued, the tea set was forgotten and became just a memory. 

Life's joys and sorrows find everyone.  My sister's marriage was ending in divorce after 15 years.  It had affected my nieces and nephew and times were tough. My life had paralleled hers, and I had wondered if mine would end that way too. 

It was Christmas time and my own life was in a shambles.  With three out of four kids with disabilities and a husband with a chronic back injury unable to work, I knew this Christmas would be stressful.  I was dreading it.  My husband and I agreed not to exchange gifts for each other and just concentrate on the kids-- making sure they would have a decent Christmas.

Christmas came and went and was rather uneventful.  The kids were happy with their gifts, and that's all we could ask for. 

 For New Years Eve we got together with extended family.  My niece ran up to me holding a brown package from her dad who had dropped her off.   "Open it, Aunt Steph!"  she exclaimed.

My first  thought was this will be  the first gift I will actually unwrap for Christmas this year, and that  made me smile. On it were the words, 'To the good 'ol days'.

 I tore the wrapping revealing a beautiful porcelain tea set.

Memories flooded through my mind and tears flooded my eyes as I remembered my brother-in-law and how he used to be.  He too was in that 6th grade class and had remembered the tiny tea set that brought about such commotion among the students.  "Give it back."  I whispered. "Don't take it away."

I carefully put the tea set back into its box. It will forever hold the memories I have of one particular ex-brother-in-law and his last good-bye. 

No Room at the Inn

In some respects I can understand how Mary and Joseph felt as they were turned away in Bethlehem; after knocking on every door only to be told, "Move on, there's no room here".  

Mary was laboring and heavy with child.  A donkey ride would not provide much relief.

While my labor is of a different sort, it is still just that: Labor.  Hard and difficult, and on some days brutal--sometimes the only relief I find is a kind word or smile from a random stranger, recognizing that I do exist.

As a mother of four children with special needs and a husband with a now recognized disability, unable to work, our path is less travelled.  I am the donkey bearing the burden of modern day therapies, special diets, medication management, and seeing that society accepts them for who they are.  My goal is to help them be a productive member of society someday.  

The road is dusty, and not many have been here before.  My back is sore, my feet hurt, but I plod along just as the donkey that carried the Christ child in Mary's womb, pressing forward.

On particular trying days,  I wonder if it is worth it.  

Anyone who has a child with a disability can attest to the constant  stress and worry it brings.  The grief process visits often and sometimes stays for dinner.

And then I am reminded of our Savior who bore the burden for All. 

Years ago, children with disabilities would have been institutionalized because there was no room for them in society.  I still see this today, but in a different sense.  In schools, the 'least of these among us' are in small closets or halls because there is no room for them and not enough funding to give them the education they need.   A lot of parents do not have the energy, time or money to put up a fight.  How can I expect the school system to ease my burden when they have to see to the needs of the majority of the children?   Perhaps they do the best they can, but it's still not sufficient for the child with special needs.  

As a mother, it is my job to help my child navigate the world and fit into society.  It is my job to see that their needs are met, that their physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual needs are being nourished.  That job becomes difficult when you struggle with the very basics of everyday living.  Food on the table, clothes on your back and shelter overhead are your number one priorities.  Of course, this in and of itself, separates you from most other people.  

Sometimes opportunities are placed  before us and we don't recognize them as a way to serve.  Perhaps that child or person with a disability or mental illness is our path to learning and growth.  It is not their fault, they did not deserve this.  They are here to teach us about unconditional love, but it is you that needs to open that door.

At this time of year when we reflect and contemplate the birth of our Savior, I ask that you seek out a family struggling with mental or physical disabilities.  Let them know that YOU know they exist.  Stop and think what our Savior would do with the "least of these among us".  They would be the first that the Savior would welcome to his knee, this I know.  These people are  miracles who continue to amaze me with their insight and unconditional love, in spite of their own difficult challenges. Because of this, my so called "burden" is a joy to carry. 

Let them know that with YOU, there IS room at the inn.

SPEND A WEEK IN OUR LIVES

When I received our schedule for this coming week, it hit me for the  first time that this is A LOT of therapy.  So I thought I'd show the world what a week in our lives is like.  I'm not doing this to complain, just to raise awareness..  It has become our lifestyle, I guess.  You get used to it.  Add on top of that Scouts, church activities, choir practice (for Hunter), Bill's PSR with another agency, driving four kids to three different schools (no busing) plus Mercedes is now taking two classes at an entirely different high school (which means she needs a ride to and fro because of budget cuts in the school district)  and it makes my mind explode. And the wallet. ;)

Bill

Thu 12/ 9/2010

4:00-7:00 Dr. Traughber, Psych Testing

Hunter

Wed 12/ 8/2010

1:00-3:00 Dr. Traughber, Psych Testing

Thu 12/ 9/2010

4:00-5:00 Tyson, Individual Therapy
5:00-5:10 Rachel, Pharmacological mgmt
5:00-6:00 Dr. Gibson, Family Therapy (Hunter will come in about 10 min late from Rachel)

Mason

Tue 12/ 7/2010

4:00-6:00 DT Chad
6:00-7:00 Tyson, Individual Therapy
7:00-8:00 DT Chad 

Wed 12/ 8/2010

3:00-5:00 Dr. Traughber, Psych Testing

Thu 12/ 9/2010

4:00-4:45 DT Samantha
4:45-5:00 Rachel, Pharmacological mgmt
5:00-6:00 Tyson, Individual Therapy
6:00-7:00 SLP

Fri 12/10/2010

4:00-7:00 DT Chad 

Sat 12/11/2010

3:00-6:00 DT Chad

Ryder

Mon 12/ 6/2010

1:30-3:30 DT Kaeli
3:30-5:00 DT Jessica
5:00-6:00 SLP
6:00-6:30 DT Maegan 

Thu 12/ 9/2010

3:45-4:00 Rachel, Pharmacological mgmt
4:00-5:00 Jamie, Individual Therapy
5:00-6:00 OT
6:00-8:00 DT Kelsey

Fri 12/10/2010

1:30-7:30 DT Kelsey 

Sat 12/11/2010

10:00-4:45 DT Kelsey

Stephanie

Tue 12/ 7/2010

9:00-11:00 Dr. Gibson, Individual Therapy